Jasper's loss
by SummerTam
Summary: What would happen if jasper left and never returned? What if Alice found another? What if this the other was a human? not just any human but a woman from a family that had served the Volturi for centuries? Alice/OC Girl/gil
1. Chapter 1

I had spent years in this little shop in Port Angeles. The days always seemed to blend together between incoming stock, outgoing bills, and days in the back without even a single customer. The sole break with this typical and monotonous pattern was the occasional company of my friend and best customer Alice. Alice was the reason I was able to keep the shop open and the reason I was able to keep sane.

Today was not one of those days. Today was a dark day and the day that lead me to where I am today. I am not proud of some of the choices I made but my life does not allow for regret, does not call for it. Everything I am now I owe to Alice and for her I now write.

It was what seemed to be an average Wednesday in mid-October. The weather was rainy as usual but more of a shower than a downpour. I sat at the counter reading my favorite series by Elizabeth Haydon, absently looking up after each page to look about the store. I was as I looked up from the book on the verge of tears that I saw Alice's car pull in front of the store. I quickly wiped away the few tears I had shed and set my book down.

As always her entrance lit up the store. I was so caught up with being happy that she had come that it took me a second to realize something was off. Her catlike gait was somehow less springy, her smile less bright, and he presence had an edge of despair. I couldn't quite put my finger on exactly why everything seemed so off, but she seemed so lost.

"Hello Summer!" she said joyously in her intoxicating and melodic voice as she walked toward the counter.

"Hello Alice! What brings you to my humble abode?" I asked trying to keep my voice from showing my cautious skepticism.

"Nothing really. I just wanted to see if you got anything new in stock." He said as she raised an eye inquisitively.

"Well considering you raided me immediately after my last shipment I don't think there's anything new that you don't already have." I said trying to probe for any sign that something was off.

"Oh. Ok." She seemed almost mumbled out as her eyes probed the store.

I looked around my store taking in all the many articles of clothing that had sat in the store for months. There wasn't much use for designer clothes in a little city such as Port Angeles but that never seemed to matter to Alice. She was always hungry for the newest and best fashion.

I looked over my shoulder at the door that led to my living room. Wondering how was best to see what was wrong. I thought of asking her straight out but that wouldn't have been either polite or subtle. So I decided to do talk somewhere more private.

"Why don't you go sit on the couch while I lock-up up here? I'll be back thee in a second." I said trying to see if she would allow me to see what was wrong.

She paused a minute as if trying to decide what she should do then with a nod proceeded to walk around the counter and through the door into the other room. I watched her until she closed the door behind her then stood up to lock the front door. After fumbling with the deadbolt and lock I went to join her in the back room.

As I opened the door and walked through I noticed her sitting there cross legged and smiling on the couch with a bottle of Orange crème soda on the table for me. I walked over careful to not seem too distracted as I stepped down the three steps that went around the living room or as I liked to call it "the pit." I stepped around the TV stand and sat next to her on the couch.

As I looked at her in the bright light from the chandelier I knew that I couldn't just be imagining things. She really was hurting. It burned my very soul to know that she was in pain. A pain that she didn't want to say, no matter how mush it pained her.

"Alice." I said picking up the bottle from the table "you know you can tell me anything. No matter what it is, let me help."

"There's nothing to tell." She said in that melodic voice that intoxicated me

"The Volturi won't say anything about what you tell me." I said looking away as I felt the bitter hatred boil in my voice.

When I turned back I could see a blatant look of shock and interest. Her face was like an angel, with its statuesque curves and exquisite beauty. The look she now gave me was a much needed relief from the pained expression she previously wore.

"How do you know about the Volturi?" she asked now masking her feelings

"Alice, please. I am not another one of these ignorant mortals ignorantly running through life aimlessly searching for wealth. If I was I wouldn't have set up this shop in Port Angeles. My family has served the Volturi eleven generations. If I had followed I would be the twelfth. My parents died in their service and so has most of my family. I decided that I wanted nothing to do with their greed. I wanted a life where I was free to choose which path I wanted to follow." I said now sweating and frankly quite self-conscious

"You knew all this time and you never said anything?" she said now looking offended

"I felt that I would let you decide if you wanted me to know and then talk about it when you were ready." I said shifting uneasily under her glare

In that instant I saw here emotions shift from anger to gratitude and several other emotions I could quite put to words. In that instant I knew that I couldn't leave her even  
if I tried. She was all I wanted and had ever dreamed of. I realized that there was nothing I wouldn't do for her.

Nothing.

"Summer. How would you like to come meet my family?" she said now wearing that radiant smile I remembered and loved

"Are they going to get upset when we show up?" I said now looking at Alice and wondering how amazing her family would look. I already began to feel so meek and out of place.

"No, they'll love you! I promise!" She said shaking her head as if appeasing a small child.

"Ok." I said shifting again thinking of what their reactions would be. "Can I go shower first I smell kind of sweaty."

"Go take a shower and I'll be here when your done." She said assuredly

As I stood and made my way to my room I kept thinking of what her family might look like. All I could picture was a house of pale angel faced people, with those same brown eyes. As I took my shower in the bathroom that connected to my room I couldn't help but think that maybe it would be best to wait to see them. I couldn't see how this family of strangers would feel about me coming in knowing their secret.

The piercing water froze my skin to an almost numb coat that only slightly resembled the frozen touch that I had long pushed from my mind. It helped to keep my mind calmed and slow. It was just what I needed to keep me from getting too worked up and depressed. Vampires had always seemed to have that effect on me. All vampires, except Alice. Alice was my light in the darkness. My angel in this hell I now lived.

As I stepped out I wondered whether I should think about something more realistic. Not that Alice wasn't real but, Alice had Jasper. Jasper was her soul mate, her love, and her immortal life. I was just her friend and her source for fashion products. I couldn't compete with the likes of Jasper. He was a million times better than I could ever be, or at least he seemed to be from what Alice had always told me. He was a vampire the epitome of beauty and compassion. He was… Everything I wasn't, and I envied him.

Before I knew what I was doing I found myself dressed and walking down the stairs to the main floor where I would find Alice. As I got down to the last couple steps I saw her sitting in the same exact position I had left her in. It was like Athena herself sat before me inhabiting the most incredibly beautiful statue I had ever seen. Seeing her like this made my mind completely at ease. She always seemed to have that effect on me. She never changed while I moved closer to death everyday. She was the constant that gave me perspective on existence. Being around her was sobering and at the same time so intoxicating I felt that I would never find myself again, and I didn't care. If I could be near Alice I would never want to be anywhere else.

"Are you ready?" She almost sang

She shifted her gaze and scr


	2. Chapter 2

"We're here!" Alice called in her angelic voice as she shook me awake

I awoke with a start at her touch. I hadn't remembered falling asleep, nor could I remember the last time I had slept. My mind began going over the trip, or as much as I could remember of it anyway. I couldn't remember anything after beginning our lull through the trees.

I shook my head trying to get my mind in the present. As I looked around I saw the extravagant house that now lay before us. It was nothing like I would have expected. Most vampires preferred less pristine and open homes than the one that now lay before me. It was surprising how unarming this house was despite the disposition of its inhabitants. As I sat taking in the scene before me I hadn't realized that Alice had exited the car and was standing beside me holding open the door.

"Do you want to go in or do you need a second?" she said as she knelt down beside me.

"I'll be fine." I said as I began to unbuckle and turn to leave the car.

Once I was out of the car she grabbed my hand and led me towards the front door in an almost cautious tempo. With each step I could feel the tension grow and my anxiety rise. I found myself wishing I had put on some make-up, any make-up. I usually felt disgusting wearing makeup being near this goddess that neither wanted nor needed make-up, but right now I felt so plain. Knowing that I was once again going to be amongst the beautiful immortals, made me wish I was less plain and less human.

As we neared the house the door opened out stepped a beautiful woman of average height with the not so human beauty found in all vampires. I knew right away from Alice's description that this had to be her adoptive mother Esme. Her genuine smile was infectious and her caramel hair and heart shaped face almost put me at ease. Almost.

She closed the last few steps to us with her arms stretched out welcomingly. It caught me off guard and she seemed to notice my surprise, and dropped her hands a bit. Feeling a little guilty extended my arms and the subsequent hug was like nothing I had ever felt. It was like hugging the strongest most durable snow man imaginable.

We proceeded into the light and open front room where everyone was waiting. All seven of the others were dispersed around the room. All but two of them were standing. I knew right away that it was Renesmee and Jacob. Both wore giant smiles that I could best describe as anxious.

Esme gestured for me to take a seat at the far end of the room on the love seat. I strolled over to the seat as the realization that I was in a house full of vampires finally began to take effect. Walking in the middle of them made me on edge and made my muscles tense. I knew I had no reason to be afraid but my body's natural reflex couldn't be helped.

As I sat down I really began to look at all of the faces in the room that I had skipped, immediately noticing the blonde bombshell that had to have been Rosalie and the muscular man next to her whose face wore an almost childlike smile. The next one I was able to put a name to was, Carlisle with blonde hair and slender physique. The last two identify were obviously Bella and Edward.

Wait! Where was Jasper? Unless I had made some major mistake with identifying someone it seemed that Japer was not among us. If Jasper wasn't here then where was he? Wait Jasper had to be here! Jasper would never leave Alice nor would she leave him.

"He's not here." A voice said reassuringly as if reading my mind.

I looked up to find that it was Edward. Well that made sense now. He could read my mind. At this point I could already tell I was going to have to build my walls again. I wouldn't have Edward reading my every thought. I couldn't allow it.

"You get used to it. Or at least everyone seems to. It catches everyone off guard at first, Even If they know already." He said with a smug smile lining his perfectly angelic face

"Edward, your ego is showing." I replied thoroughly annoyed

At this everyone burst out laughing and some clapped. Emmet gave him a rough push as if to say he had brought it upon himself. Rosalie gave me a warm smile that caught me off guard to the point where I could feel my face change from my forced smile to a look of alarm.

"Are you ok?" Esme asked in an almost concerned voice as she looked between me and Rosalie.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said once again bringing back my smile "I just was kinda caught off guard again."

"Sorry." Rosalie said in an almost hurt tone.

"Don't be." I replied smiled brighter "Today is kind of an unusual day for me. It's hard for me to get over a lot of the learned behaviors. Growing up, when a vampire smiled at me that wasn't someone openly known for their kindness it meant that I smelled like dinner."

"Growing up?" Carlisle asked, speaking for the first time today.

"Yes. You see my last name is Degala." I said with a sheepish smile.

Carlisle's face turned to an almost horrified grimace.

Renesmee was the next to speak.

"What does that mean exactly?" she asked in an almost childlike voice.

"The Degala's have served the Volturi for over five hundred years. The Volturi have never dared to turn a Degala. The Degala's have served them knowing that they would never be turned, no matter how much they ever did for the Volturi." Carlisle answered now fully composed again. "Your family's history makes me wonder why you're here."

"I am not my ancestors. If I had been like them I never would have been here. If I was like them then I would be back at Volterra and my parents would still be alive." I said as I looked around the room as I said this. "Carlisle, I assume you know why the Volturi would not turn a member of my family."

"The Volturi believe in the old stories. These stories were of the ones that were only known as the truly damned, the destroyers of civilizations." Carlisle said in a hushed while everyone else listened awestruck.

I burst out laughing at the utter nonsense they had filled his head with. My ancestors were nothing of the sort. My ancestors had been enslaved by the Volturi to bring themselves to complete power.

I noticed everyone look at me like I had just shot someone. I looked down guiltily unable to see the hurt in their eyes. I had grown up around immortals but to see the hurt in their soft and caring eyes truly burned me to my core. I couldn't begin to explain why but at this point I just wished I could die.

"Don't think like that! Not now, not ever!" Edward yelled as he laired at me with his piercing gaze

I looked over at Alice and saw the confused look on her face. I didn't want to explain it and I knew if I did it would not help anything. I decided to address my actions instead.

"Sorry Carlisle. I wasn't laughing at you. I was simply laughing at the nonsense that the Volturi put into your head. The Volturi have never turned a member of the Degala blood line because the last time they did it nearly decimated them." I said looking directly into Carlisle's confused eyes "It was nearly two thousand years ago. The Volturi were larger then. The guard was estimated at having been fifty thousand strong at that time. They turned my ancestor who was found to be able to control flames and was immune most other powers. The Volturi even then seeking ever growing amounts of power rained my ancestor to control his abilities. My ancestor, knowing the corruption and decay within the Volturi, sought to master the abilities that his immortal form had given him. He left the Volturi for some unknown place. There he mastered the abilities and decades later came. It took the entire Volturi guard to take him down. It finally fell to the three leaders to finish the burning."

I looked around the room, studying each face in turn as they mulled the story in their heads. Alice seemed to be almost in shock, while the others wore expressions that were extremely similar yet, still almost impossible to place. It was awkward sitting there with the unfinished story hanging in the air.

"The Volturi found my ancestors still mortal grandson. They raised the child to be completely loyal to the Volturi. From then on, each child was taught to be completely loyal to the Volturi." I explained as I readied to explain where I came into all this "Each generation since has had a single child. Each child had been a son until me. Aro immediately began plotting. When I was two, Aro sent my parents as emissaries to one of the southern covens to get them to cease the creation of the armies of newborns that they had been making. My parents were killed within minutes of arriving. Aro's plan had worked as he had planned. He sent half the guard to destroy the coven and get a vampire he had wanted to add to the guard. After my parents death Aro had me trained to be the perfect fighter, strategist, and vampire. As soon as I could talk I was taught to read, write, and strategize. As I grew older I began to see what they were doing to me. When I was nine I went out for a stroll one day and never came back. I came to Washington because I had heard Aro speak of your family and the shape shifters that you had befriended."


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, I better get going." I said as I looked at the time on the clock.

I hated to leave but it was 8:51 pm and by the time I got home it'd be about eleven. We had spent most f the day sitting there talking, laughing, and really just getting to know each other. It hadn't even fazed me when I realized that I hadn't eaten since breakfast, though I was hungry.

"Are you sure you have to go." Emmet asked as he too looked at the clock

"I should. It's almost nine and by the time I got home it'd be about eleven." I said feeling a little sheepish.

I looked at Alice and saw that she was looking at Esme. I couldn't see the look on her face, but knowing Alice it wouldn't be anything that would help my stomach out much. I looked around the room and when my gaze came to Edward he gave me a knowing smile and held up a single finger, indicating for me to wait.

"Why don't you stay the night?" Esme asked which caused me to whip around from surprise.

I wasn't exactly sure what to say. I didn't want to leave, not now, not ever. This had been the best time I had ever had. This was the first time I felt safe, happy, and oddly enough loved.

"It's because you are." Edward said warmly causing me to jump

"Don't do that!" I almost yelled as I felt the pain in my chest and all went black.

I found myself in my own personal hell. I was back in Volterra. I was standing in the small room that was mine. I was trembling on the stone floor. Aro stood over me angrily, cane in hand. The cane was stained with blood, with my blood.

I felt like screaming, running, anything to escape. He was often angry with me for the mistakes I made. He wanted perfection and would settle for nothing less. It had become somewhat of a nightly routine for Aro to come into m chamber after I was too exhausted to train any more and beat me until I was unconscious.

He would pay for what he did. I swore it with all my being. Whether it came from me or not, it didn't matter. He was going to learn fear. He would die with that lesson.

I know it's not that long but I wanted to get atleast something out tonight. I promise the next chappie will be long. Please R&R. Any questions, comments, or Ideas Please let me know. I'm not Edward so I can't read your mind to see what u are thinking.


End file.
